Monday, November 21, 2005

Bill Gates in Afterlife

Bill Gates is sent to the Afterlife Waiting Room after he dies. He is met by St. Peter, who asks him if he wants to go to Heaven or Hell, and if he would like to see them before he decides. Bill says yes, and St. Peter snaps his fingers. They appear on a sunny beach, with people dancing, swimming and playing beach volleyball --- basically having a wonderful time. Good food, good music, great people. Bill turns to St. Peter and says, "Wow! Heaven is great!"

St. Peter says, "This isn't Heaven, it's Hell. Want to see Heaven?" Bill nods yes, and they appear in a shady park, with a few old people sitting on benches feeding birds. A gentle breeze blows by, and all is quiet and serene. St. Peter asks Bill, "Well, which would you like?" Bill thinks for a minute, and says, "Well, if this is Heaven, then I'll take Hell."

Instantly he is plunged up to his neck in red-hot lava, the screams of other tortured souls filling his ears. He looks up and sees St. Peter in the waiting room. Bill calls out to him, and says, "Hey! What's going on? Where's the beach? The bikini-clad women? The party?"

St. Peter turns from his Macintosh to face Bill, and says, "That was just the demo."

Friday, November 11, 2005

A Second Life

Have you ever had the thought that one life is not enough? Maybe a second would prove to be real handy! Then you should be ready to plunge into a world of virtual reality --- a world full of imaginary destinations. Imagine relaxing in a tiny private cove, on a lava beach near the mists of a waterfall. The sun is shining, a tropical bird cries somewhere in the distance and the cares of the working world seem a million miles away.

It's an idyllic vacation spot, but the best thing about it is that you can reach it five minutes from home. That's because it never exists in any physical location but in one of many virtual worlds. All you need is a broadband internet connection and a decent graphics card.

A world called Second Life where you can guide your onscreen representative known as 'avatar' through places built entirely of pixels where you can also interact with other people like you roaming about in cybespace. The virtual destinations include virtual dance parties and nightclubs, auto races and yatching events, Star-Wars style cantinas, whimsical underwater jazz clubs, discos, casinos and much much more.

Like most virtual worlds, Second Life also sees its share of cybersex where two people can use a private channel to type suggestively to each other. But wait! There's something more. SLife adds a visual element to cybersex that chat rooms lack. Poses and animations can be had that allow avatars to engage in all kinds of sexual positions and activities. In fact, there is a virtual sex industry that includes virtual lap-dances, virtual escort services and virtual prostitution.

Entering a world like Second Life is relatively simple. Free trial memberships are available at

So get ready, and step into a world under the virtual sun. Because in far too many cases, one life does not prove to be enough.