Monday, November 21, 2005

Bill Gates in Afterlife

Bill Gates is sent to the Afterlife Waiting Room after he dies. He is met by St. Peter, who asks him if he wants to go to Heaven or Hell, and if he would like to see them before he decides. Bill says yes, and St. Peter snaps his fingers. They appear on a sunny beach, with people dancing, swimming and playing beach volleyball --- basically having a wonderful time. Good food, good music, great people. Bill turns to St. Peter and says, "Wow! Heaven is great!"

St. Peter says, "This isn't Heaven, it's Hell. Want to see Heaven?" Bill nods yes, and they appear in a shady park, with a few old people sitting on benches feeding birds. A gentle breeze blows by, and all is quiet and serene. St. Peter asks Bill, "Well, which would you like?" Bill thinks for a minute, and says, "Well, if this is Heaven, then I'll take Hell."

Instantly he is plunged up to his neck in red-hot lava, the screams of other tortured souls filling his ears. He looks up and sees St. Peter in the waiting room. Bill calls out to him, and says, "Hey! What's going on? Where's the beach? The bikini-clad women? The party?"

St. Peter turns from his Macintosh to face Bill, and says, "That was just the demo."


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